Rachael Kirkconnell inadvertently just spilled some major tea about her former relationship with Matt James in that she hasn’t had sex in “years.” The former couple, who met on season 25 of The Bachelor, recently ended their relationship for good in January 2025.
The 29-year-old appeared on the October 16 episode of Hallie Batchelder’s “Extra Dirty” podcast, where the host asked Kirkconnell how her “single era” has been.
“I’ve been so chronically single, I haven’t been on a single date,” she admitted, adding that she’s not currently on dating apps, but “if it gets to a point, I might have to jump on them.”
But in addition to her Bachelor fame, Kirkconnell said that part of the reason for her dry spell is that she prefers to form an emotional bond with a potential lover before jumping in bed. She also confessed that she’s never had a one night stand before.
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“It’s been a minute … I gotta rip the band-aid off. It’s been so long at this point,” Kirkconnell told Batchelder, noting that she was worried sex would “hurt” at this point. “I feel like a virgin again. OK, I don’t think that we’ve like discussed—I haven’t had sex way longer than you think. I’ll just put it that way.”
“It’s been years. Years. It has been so long,” she emphasized. “And that’s why I’m saying, like I feel like a virgin again to where I don’t want to just give it up to anyone. It’s like almost like I can’t just like hook up with someone random at this point because it’s been so long that I want it to be incredible.”
“I feel like how we felt when we were in high school,” Kirkconnell continued. “I’m not going to say everyone felt like this, but you know how everyone just makes losing your virginity like such a big deal and that it’s someone special. That’s how I feel. I can’t just give it up to just like anyone.”
Kirkconnell’s stint on The Bachelor came with no shortage of drama. Though James ultimately chose her in the season finale, he ended things with her during the After the Final Rose special due to racially insensitive details from her past that came to light while the season was airing. James was the first Black lead in the franchise.
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The controversy resulted in longtime host Chris Harrison stepping down after he attempted to defend Kirkconnell’s past. When photos surfaced of the Georgia native attending a fraternity’s antebellum plantation themed ball in college, as well as wearing a Native American costume, Harrison called for “a little grace, a little understanding, [and] a little compassion,” resulting in swift backlash from fans.
However, the couple ended up getting back together about a month after the finale in April 2021, and remained an item until splitting for good earlier this year.
